Fear is the biggest reason people hold off on beginning the process long after the marriage is over. Fear about what the effect the divorce will have on their children, fear about how you’re going to make ends meet, fear about what you are entitled to from the marriage. If the fear doesn’t do you in, the misery of your current situation will. I see people in all stages of the divorce process. Because I offer a free consultation, some people come to me long before they are ready to file. Others come in shock having been served with a divorce complaint. Winston Churchill said it best,” when you’re going through hell, keep on going”. The same holds true for divorce. It’s a difficult journey, but I always tell people, and it is true, that the only way to get through it and survive is to actually go through it. That or stay in limbo forever.
As far as that dreaded fear thing goes, I think it really helps to go see an attorney and get as much information as possible. Knowing exactly what your rights are, what you are entitled to and how a normal parenting schedule works. Knowledge is power especially in divorce. I often encounter women that have been told by their husbands that because the house is in his name, they aren’t entitled to anything. Not true. It’s often very empowering for women to find out that they are entitled to half of all assetts acquired during the marriage
When you arrive on the other side, having survived, that’s where the peace begins for most people. The kids begin to adjust to the new normal, you and your ex have hopefully a decent and fair agreement to follow and life slowly returns to normal.